


Holding Hands

by orphan_account



Series: You Promised Me The World [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: All This Highschool Drama, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Aroace Jenna, Asexual Christine Canigula, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Domestic Violence, Evan is trying so hard to be a good big brother, Even More Healthy Murphy Sibling Relationships, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Followed by asexual screaming, Hospitalization, Jake is jealous and making bad decisions, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Underage Smoking, Zoe is straight, fight me, smh, so pure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:38:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "The Hansen-Heere boys," Rich remarked with a smile. He looked over at the two. "Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?""Eh," They replied at the same time.





	1. Evan Hansen

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Although the first two books could have been read in any order, this one will not make sence if you have not read the first two in this series!

“Haha. You’re _fucked_ dude, holy shit,”

“You know, it’s partly _your_ fault we h-hate each other,”

Jared blew a raspberry, brushing off the comment in his own childish way. He knew it was at least somewhat true. What could he do about it? He didn’t know they would get in any fight and he couldn’t exactly uninvite Evan because a fight _might have_ occurred. Evan sighed over the noises of Jared’s video game and clicks as he mindlessly massed between buttons.

He sat on his stomach, with his feet near the headboard as he looked at Mario and Link battling in a pixilated arena. Evan and Connor sat side by side with their backs pressed against the headboard. Connor’s arm was loosely wrapped around Evan’s shoulder. He, too, was looking at the T.V screen while listening to Evan complain. “Why _him?_ His dad doesn’t even live that close to us! How did they meet? Why am I just now hearing his name? Why is this happening so fast?”

“It’s going to be ok,” Connor reassured him in a calming tone, not looking away from the screen.

“Why is that?”

“Because, now you have some time to get used to your baby brother before the wedding!” Jared chimed in.

“Jared,” Connor warned.

Jared chuckled a little, not taking this as seriously as Evan thought it was. He pulled his arms to his side, holding the controller closer to his face as if it would help. “No, wait, listen, I’m sorry, I’m having too much fun here. What I mean to say is, he’s not that bad Ev,”

Evan scoffed and slouched more into Connor’s arms. “Oh, yeah, s-sure,”

“I’m serious. Ok, he was having a bad day that day and he’s very protective, that was it,” Jared pause, thinking of something else to say. What should he say? He honestly thought this argument would be over by now, or the two would just forget it and move on. I mean, it was stupid! Maybe Jeremy was the type to hold a grudge but not Evan. Or...maybe Evan? He did seem like he changed a bit after spending some time away from Jared.

He sighed. Seemed like a lot of things changed while they were away. Jared shrugged to the best of his ability. “He’s sorry,”

Evan groaned. “Then w-why doesn’t he show it?” He slouched further, getting ready to fall, but Connor quickly repositioned his arm to allow Evan to fall on his lap. Connor looked down and smiled sweetly before looking back up and mindlessly running his fingers through Evan’s hair. Evan blushed and smiled, but it quickly faded. He crossed his arms. “Jeremy’s a jerk,”

“I know,” Connor said thoughtfully, followed by a ‘Whoop!’ as Mario exclaimed in pain from the T.V speakers.

Jared gasped, as if the word ‘jerk’ was the worst thing Evan had ever said about someone. Spoiler alert, it kinda was. “I’m sure if you spend more time with him, this whole thing will sort itself out,”

“I don’t understand what his problem was,” Evan said. “I mean, he approached _m-me._ And just kept...” Evan got quieter, almost like he was still debating whether or not he should say what he was telling them, “asking me about that day at the mall. It was really weird. And I just...” He trailed off.

“He’s protective,” Jared said for the second time.

“Well he s-should mind his own b-business,” Evan replied. “And why didn’t Mom ever tell me he had a son? Paul knew _she_ had a son, I think my mom had the right to k-know about his son,”

Connor clicked his tongue. “Baby, she probably knew. Maybe she just didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to stress out about it,”

Evan opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. It was quiet for a few seconds, with nothing going on but the battle onscreen, which they were all watching. It was probably true. Maybe Paul never told Jeremy about Evan for the same reasons. It came as a shock to both of them, it seemed. Still, the idea that Heidi thought Evan would stress out over having a brother seemed dumb. He would be completely fine with it. You know, if the brother wasn’t Jeremy.

Of course, he would worry about whether or not he would be liked by his brother, or how they would treat each other. He never had a close sibling before. Would they have to share a room? What if he didn’t like any of Evan’s things and wanted them thrown out? What if he was one of those kinds of siblings that was just super mean all the time?

Did this mean they would have to share clothes to? Because Evan was never very comfortable with the idea of sharing clothes. Or what if- Oh.

“It was a surprise, right?” Jared asked. “He proposed, and she said yes and then she probably said something along the lines of, ‘Oh shit, now our sons our going to have to meet earlier than planned’ and he probably said, ‘Let’s have a meet up at a restaurant so they can’t fight each other for the top bunk just yet’ and Heidi was like, ‘Hey, good idea. This is exactly why I’m marrying you!’ and thus,” Connor snorted. “She probably wanted to tell you that he had a son when everything wasn’t so...stressful and you guys could talk and be uninterrupted but...” Jared trailed off, at a loss for words.

“Life happened,” Connor picked up.

“Yeah,” Evan mumbled. “I guess,”

Connor moved Evan’s chin with his thumb, so Evan was looking up at him. Connor was smiling sympathetically. “Life happened, Evan,” He said again. “I’m sure she was planning on telling you soon,”

Even though Evan didn’t quite believe him, he smiled and agreed anyway. “You’re p-probably right. She wouldn’t just keep that from me,” The last part was most likely true. She just might have not seen that he was going to propose so quickly. She just...didn’t know. Yeah.

“Hey,” Jared said. “We’re here for you dude. If I was in your shoes, I’d be pissed too. Like, really pissed. Be glad I’m not in your shoes,” Jared was going to say something else, but Mario fell off the platform the two were fighting on. “WHOOO!” He yelled. “Fucking finally,”

Connor put both arms in the air. “Whoop! That was so close, man,” He chuckled.

“Yeah,” Jared agreed, chuckling as well. Evan smiled, but didn’t say anything. He frowned again soon after, but didn’t say anything. Jared looked back and sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“I should be taking this well, I g-guess. I knew they were da-dating. Well, I didn’t know it was him, I knew she was dating s-someone. I just, the more that I think about it, it’s not so scary, I guess, that I’m going to be living with J-Jeremy, it’s just...” He sighed and rolled his head over to Connor. He didn’t look up at him, but buried his head in Connor’s stomach, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist. “Idon’twantthistohappensofast,” He said quickly. The sound was muffled by Connor’s jacket.

“What?” Jared asked, sitting himself up.

“You heard me!” Evan replied quickly and loudly.

“Mmmmm, I did not,” Jared said. He tilted his head and looked towards Evan, even though he knew the boy couldn’t see him.

Connor was looking down at Evan. He put his arm over Evan’s side, holding him closely. “Bean?” He asked softly.

“I feel l-like a s-selfish person,” Evan said. He curled up into himself more. “I don’t want this to happen,”

Jared looked up at Connor, who was looking at him as well, and chuckled a bit. Connor smiled. They both looked back at Evan. “Look, baby. This is just _going_ to happen. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think it’s going to be. And Jared said, we’re always here,” Evan looked up at Connor slightly. Connor shrugged.

“Having a sibling really isn’t that bad. You have someone to relentlessly tease and pick on, and they pick on you, and sometimes you get in fights that end up with both of you being mad at each other until one of you says something dumb and you melt into puddles of laughter and make up. And you have someone who protects you and you protect them and you can tell each other secrets, and soon you both get to that level with each other where he’ll sneak into the kitchen with you in the middle of the night and you end up making five bologna and cheese sandwiches,”

Evan chuckled. “But w-what if we ne-never get to that level?”

Connor shrugged again. “You will. Believe me. Even if you have to go through 1000 bad days, there’s going to be that one good day that turns into one good week that turns into one good month, Evan. You’re going to be fine,”

Jared raised his eyebrow. “Is that bologna sandwich thing from experience?”

Connor looked at him from the corner of his eye and couldn’t help but smirk, although he tried to hide it. “Don’t judge, Kleinman,” 

“And think about it this way,” Jared moved himself so he was sitting beside Evan. “Paul is going to make a great dad. So, even if Jeremy’s still going to be mean to you, you have Paul. He’s nice,”

“It’ll be fine,” Connor said, rubbing Evan’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine,”

“This is just, really sudden...and weird...” Evan sighed.

Connor nodded. “We’ll be here,” He said, leaning down to kiss Evan on his cheek. Evan smiled, looking up at him.

Jared let out a small sigh and looked back at the T.V. Link stood on the left side of the screen, waiting for someone else to be chosen. Jared moved the player 2 chip on ‘Random’ and forced a smile on his face. “It’s going to be fine,” He told Evan. Or himself. He wasn’t sure yet. Maybe to both of them, for different reasons, but the same idea.

_It’s going to be fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YPMTW discord:  
> https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


	2. Jeremy Heere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it gets better. I think...  
> I hope...  
> I really hope my writing gets better, my writing quality is honestly a wild card at this point

The ticking sound of the clock interrupted Jeremy and Michael. It seemed like it was moving too quickly for anyone to catch up with, or be ok with. Jeremy didn’t like the clock. Why did things have to change so much with time? Just two days ago, everything was fine! Jared was on his way to Jeremy’s house and everyone was just going to hang out and have fun like they always did.

Then his dad drove him off to some place he’s never been, away from his friends, and told him he was getting married! Just sprung it up on him, like he wouldn’t give a shit either way. He’d never even met the girl his dad was dating before yesterday, and now she was going to be a part of their family? The fuck was this?

He was _fine._ Jeremy was finally fine and ok with the way the world worked and then suddenly, everything had to change all over again. Why did things have to fucking change all the time?  

“I don’t _hate_ him, really,” Jeremy started again, blowing a piece of his hair away from his eyes. His head was laid on Michael’s lap, with his neck rested on his feet, leaving Jeremy’s legs awkwardly hanging off the side of his bed. “I mean, I don’t really like him. But you saw him, right? He was in my face too!” He complained, realizing that it was untrue as he said it.

Michael only nodded slowly, listening, looking down at his boyfriend. Jeremy looked up at Michael, confused. “Right? He was? He was! Kind of. I mean, he didn’t answer my questions. I think it was impossible to have a normal conversation with him. I asked him, straight up, why he yelled at Jared. And he said he didn’t. Which, he did, Jared told us he did, and I don’t think he was lying. You saw how he hurt, right?”

Jeremy stopped to take a breath and then started to say something else, only to realize he had nothing else to say. Michael sighed. “Well, I will say he was hurt. He was. And you weren’t super mean to him,”

“I knew it,” Jeremy said, crossing his arms. “You think it was my fault too,”

“I didn’t say _that,_ ” Michael said, but then he stopped, looking ahead. It was quiet for a few seconds, with Jeremy looking up at Michael and waiting for him to speak. Finally, Michael sighed and looked back down. “You were a little mean to him,” Jeremy scoffed. “But that doesn’t mean he didn’t do anything wrong either!”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“He- ok, from what you told me, he was kinda defensive, all the time. And he was a little rude. He could have just answered your questions. Maybe you didn’t ask him the right way, but, he could have been nicer. And he could have...maybe dropped the conversation? Changed the subject? Apologized?”

Michael thought for another second about what he could say. Evan could have been nicer, sure, but so could have Jeremy. They were both a little rude. He didn’t know what else he could say. He shrugged a little, telling Jeremy he was done talking.

Jeremy huffed. “I’m going to have to live with him now,” He stopped, his eyes widened a bit. “What if we move away? To his house?”

“You’ll be going to Jared’s school!” Michael said a little too enthusiastically, trying to put a positive spin on it. “And I’ll be with you too. I live with you guys,”

“I don’t want to go to Jared’s school, I want to finish my year here, and live here,” He complained. “I’m not moving 50 hours away from everyone,”

Neither boy knew what to do. It was out of their control. It was true, Michael would still live with them, but neither of them wanted to be away from their other friends. They were a _group._ They did everything together! It was impossible to live without them. Christine dropped by at least 15 times a week and Rich practically lived there on weekends. And everyone else met up at the Heere household CONSTINTLY. And even though Alana hasn’t been able to come up yet, she always heard about the house and wanted to spend time there.

“Dad wouldn’t have us move away, right?” Jeremy asked. “I mean, he knows how...how... _good_ this place is,” He said, trying to find the right word.

“Important,” Michael said. He nodded. “He knows,”

Maybe it was a bit stupid, but the house was super important to them. The whole area was important to the whole group. So was the school. Ever since the...

It was quiet for a minute before Jeremy’s hands flew up to his eyes. “I hate him,” He whined, changing the subject.

“I thought you said you didn’t,”

“I liiiiiieeeeedddd,” He whined again. Michael chuckled and slowly lifted Jeremy’s hands from his eyes.

He sighed. A patient and calming sigh someone would give you to tell you it was all going to be ok. “It’s not going to be that bad, ok? I’ll be here for you,” Michael said.

Jeremy looked up at Michael with a pitiful expression. His lips curled a bit, like he was getting ready to pout, but he tried smiling to hide it. Although, it lasted shortly. He brought Michael’s hand’s in his own under his chin, still holding them. He tired smiling again. “Promise?”

“Promise,” Michael replied, smiling warmly.

It wasn’t good enough. Jeremy felt a sickish feeling in his gun that he couldn’t quite describe. But he had nothing to worry about, right? He was here, Michael was here. With him. Wasn’t that enough? Even for right now. Even if it was just for a day. Wasn’t that enough? “Swear?”

Michael lost a bit of his smile, involuntarily. Jeremy saw this. His eyes widened a little. “I swear,” He replied seriously. Still, comfortingly. As comforting as he could be.  

“Michael,” Jeremy scolded. It wasn’t a question, or really a command. He wasn’t even mad at Michael, or anyone. _Stay here, stay with me. Promise._ He promised. _Swear._ He did. _Stay._ He was. He was here, and he was going to be there if they moved, if they stayed, when Evan came, when their parents married, no matter what. Right? Wasn’t that enough?

For a second, it got too quiet, and Jeremy wondered if he was being mean or controlling. He started to apologize before Michael bent down the best he could and kissed Jeremy on his lips. Softly and slowly, so he had enough time to pull away if he wasn’t to, but he didn’t. At first, Jeremy hesitated, but then he pushed himself upward slightly, leaning into the kiss.

They broke away from each other slowly, and looked at each other. Michael, with a look of seriousness and focus. Jeremy was concerned. “Jeremy,” Michael said, reassuring him.

“Yes, that is my name,” Jeremy said jokingly, as soon as the tension settled. Michael smiled and rolled his eyes before learning downward to kiss him again.

He pulled away at last and sighed, settling himself back down in Michael’s lap. “It’s going to be ok, right?” Jeremy asked. Michael nodded.  “Yeah,” He confirmed to himself. “It’s going to be fine,”

Michael didn’t have any time to say anything before there was a loud knocking at the door. Both the boys smiled and looked at each other. “Christine,” They said at the same time, and Jeremy rolled off Michael’s lap, letting him follow Jeremy to the door. It was still on his mind. Everything. But it could wait. He could move his problems to a later date, when Christine was gone.

He wouldn’t move away. He would refuse. Why should he move away? Why should he change? Why should he accept Evan at all? He didn’t trust him, and maybe he never would. But for now, everything was fine. He’d see where life was taking him. He had friends to help him along the way, too. It was ok, right? Nothing to worry about.

_Everything was going to be fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YPMTW discord:  
> https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


	3. Brotherly Love

There were three soft knocks at the door. Jake put down the bag of Doritos he was eating from on the coffee table and licked cheese powder off his fingers as he walked towards the door. The knocking became louder and he sighed. “Hold onnnnnn!” He yelled, following with mumbling; “Jesus,” He opened the door to see Alana, mid-knock. She was bundled in Christine’s jacket and a big scarf. Christine was behind her, holding a two-litter of Root Beer. Once Alana’s eyes met with Jake’s, she smiled awkwardly.

Jake stepped to the side to let the two girls in, then shut the door behind them as they took their jackets off and laid the on the side of the couch. “It’s the same concept. Watered down, but the same concept. And equally, if not _more,_ funny,” Rich said from the hall.

“Uhh- Ha ha, fuck you. Funnier my ass,” Jared replied. “We _might_ be able to watch it _after_ Heathers,” The two boys walked into the room.

“Boo, you whore,” Rich teased, pushing Jared’s shoulder.

Jared grinned and chuckled, glaring at Rich. Rich grinned as well. “Words can’t describe how much I hate you,”

“Blow me,”

“Maybe I will,”

Rich stuck his tongue out in defeat. Jake raised his eyebrows at the two. He hid any hint of jealousy he had with a quick joke. “You going to include me in all that?” He gestured to the two of them. Christine elbowed his side, but he just laughed and looked down at her. “Ow!”

“Stop being teenage boys for a second!” She said, then directed her attention towards Jared. “What’s the game plan?”

Jared clasped his hands together, looking at the three people in front of him. Jake already knew. He crossed his arms and nodded slightly. “I told Evan and Jeremy 2:35, and everyone else is coming soon. Hopefully. You guys are early. Or it’s actually 2:25 right now and I just have no concept of time. Jeremy and Michael are both at the store with Mr. Heere, but just in case, NO ONE go outside, because if Jeremy or Michael sees us all in the house already, then Jeremy is going to want to come earlier, when we all know as soon as he gets home, he’s going to bone his boyfriend or some other gay shit,”

Christine faked a gag and Jake laughed

“They both know the other is coming, and hopefully they’ll be forced to sit by each other at _some point_ and they can be quiet enough to actually watch the movie, Heathers,” He stopped and looked beside him at Rich. “The 80’s cult classic staring Winona Ryder, and written by Daniel Waters. The characters include, but are not limited to, Heather Mac’n’cheese, Sexy Psychopath, Veronica Whats-Her-Last-Name,” 

Rich nudged him with his shoulder. “Now you’re just saying it to get on my nerves,”

“And after we watch HEATHERS, the MASTERPIECE, the BEAUTIFUL, the MOST INCREDABLE movie-”

“Jared, I will murder you,” Rich threatened.

“They fall in love at such a young age nowadays,” Alana said. Christine nodded in response.

“Hey, lover boys,” Jake said, annoyed, “game plan,”

Jared crossed his arms, but didn’t look away from Rich. “We watch Mean Girls, the semi-masterpiece,” Rich scoffed and rolled his eyes. Jared looked over at everyone else. “They’re just going to have to sit together and be uncomfortable until they’re comfortable, ok? They’re going to _live_ with each other, and I’m not going to have both Evan and Jeremy coming to me, bitching about the other. And I’m sure you don’t want that either,” Christine, Alana, and Jake all shook their heads. “Nothing like a little awkward silence to bring two people together,”

Jake raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s quite right,”

Before anyone could say something, someone else knocked at the door and Jake rolled his eyes to the back of his head and turned around. Again. Christine walked to the coffee table to put down the soda as Dustin, Jenna, Chloe and Brooke walked inside. “Do you have any plastic cups of anything?” Christine asked Jared, starting to walk to the kitchen. But Dustin held up a bag of red plastic cups.

“I got it,”

“Oh,” Christine exclaimed. She smiled as Dustin handed her the cups.

“Michael is bringing pizza rolls,” Jenna stated, not looking up from her phone.

Chloe sighed. “Jenna,” Jenna looked up at her, “put your phone in your pocket. Just today. Make it a phone free day. Please,” The girl pleaded, putting on her best pouty face. Jenna waited a few seconds, trying not to laugh, but ultimately failed. She put her phone away. Chloe laughed as well, patting Jenna’s head. “Good girl,”

“Chloe, you’re such a fucking dork,”

“I know,”

“Ok,” Jared stated, looking around the room at everyone. “We need to get everything ready. Awkward silence. Snacks. We’re not letting them fight this time. They either learn to tolerate each other, or die trying. Operation: Brotherly Love...” He trailed off as Rich walked up to him. They fist bumped, and Jake rolled his eyes. Jenna scoffed, and Brooke giggled. “...is a fucking go,” 

__

“You don’t take shit from him,” Connor said, slipping on his shoes. Evan nodded, looking through his closet for a jacket. “If he starts anything, you _need_ to tell him how shitty he was. Get him to apologize, or something, ok?” Evan nodded again. “I know it’s hard, Ev, but you’re going to be living with him. You can’t let him be a fucking brat to you just because you had a falling out with a friend. Seriously, what’s his problem?”

Evan shrugged, stepping away from the closet and looking over it. “He seemed nicer at A La Mode. On our gay date. For gay people,” Connor joked, looking at Evan with a smile on his face. Evan just nodded again, still looking in his closet. “Ev?”

A few seconds passed, and Connor finally managed to get his shoes on. But Evan never moved. “Beeeaaann pllanntt,”

“I don’t have a jacket,” Evan said plainly. Connor laughed and stood up, walking behind his boyfriend and hugging his waist. He kissed his cheek, which resulted in Evan kissing the air, but keeping his eyes glued on the closet.

“You nervous?”

“Mhm,”

“It’s going to be ok, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan sighed.

Connor kissed him again and walked over to Evan’s bed, picking up his own jacket and smoothing it over his shoulders. “Jacket,” He stated, putting his arms around Evan’s neck and pressing his cheek against Evan’s own cheek, snapping him out of whatever trance he was in. Evan looked over to him and smiled. Connor followed. “You knnnoooww I love you?” He sang.

Evan chuckled and the two kissed. “You’re going to f-freeze out there,”

“Yes, but you will be warm,” Connor stated. “And it’s not like we’re watching a movie outside or something,” Evan made a low humming noise and the two kissed quickly again. “Hey. You need to stand up for yourself. I’m not going to be there everyday to stop him from being a jerk,”

“Y-you’ll help me t-today though, right? I mean, if he starts s-something, you gotta help me. I can’t deal with this guy fully. And- and it’s- he’s difficult- a difficult person to deal with, you know?” Evan said worryingly.

Connor smiled and sighed. “Yeah. I know,” He said. Then he reconsidered. “Well, I haven’t met him fully, but I’m taking your word for it. Even Jared said he’s a bit difficult. He’s still mean to Jared at times. Especially when they’re alone,”

Evan nodded a bit. “You and Jared have been talking more,”

“Yeah,”

There was a second or two of silence. The two just stood there in embrace, rocking side to side slowly and subtly. No one was aware it was happening, but it was. Evan thought for a second. “Why would he be mean to me if he was mean to Jared?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Here we go,” He mumbled.

“I thought J-Jared needed ‘protecting’. I though h-he thought I was the- the villain here, and Jared couldn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you think Jeremy would be an ov-overprotective boyfriend to him, or something, you know? Which I know is not the case, because Jared would have told us...He would, right? I mean, I know Jeremy is dating M-Michael, but do you think Jeremy, Michael _and_ Jared are in a relationship? And Jeremy is just the r-really overprotective one?”

Connor cut him off but kissing him for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. But this was longer. Once the two broke away, Evan was smiling, and he forgot everything else he was going to say. “Ok, let’s go,” Evan said, but instead, Connor kissed him again. Evan chuckled. “Con, we need to...” He started, but stopped to kiss Connor back. Connor moved in front of Evan and draped his arms over the boy’s shoulders, slowly moving up his hands to Evan’s hair. “To leave,” Evan finished as soon as they broke away.             

Connor sighed. “Dang, I was hoping we could make out first,”

Silence settled between the two as they looked into each other’s eyes. “We have a few more minutes,” Evan said quietly. Connor nodded, walking over to the bed as he slowly kissed Evan again.

__

Jeremy let out a deep breath, putting his hands back in his pockets as he waited for the door to open. He watched his breath slowly rise up into the air, forming a misty cloud, and then fade away. People were laughing and yelling behind the door. There was some pop song playing in the background, but Jeremy had no idea what it was. He looked behind him at Michael, as if he cold answer Jeremy’s unspoken question, but he just shrugged.

Suddenly, the door opened and both boys looked to Rich, who was smiling and moved to the side to let them in. “Heere’s here!” He yelled. Everyone else collectively groaned. Jeremy smiled and walked into the room. “Mell’s...here,” Rich said as Michael walked in, realizing he couldn’t make a pun with a name like _Mell._ Or at least, he couldn’t do it now. But he’d get Michael someday. Michael snorted. “What up, Mell?”

The two high-fived. “Hey, Richard,” Michael nodded slightly, being one of the only people able to actually call him Richard. Jeremy held Michael’s hand and lead him to the end of the couch, completely ignoring Evan and Connor, who sat closely together on the other side.

Once Michael and Jeremy sat down, Christine, Alana, Jake, and Jared stared at them silently. Suddenly, Jared got up. “I need to start the movie,”

“Dustin and Jenna are snooping through Jared’s room and I need to get them?” Jake said, but it sounded like a question.

Jared looked back from his shelf, where he kept most of the movies. “What?”

“Dustin and Jenna,” Jake said as he disappeared around the corner, Rich followed him silently.

“Alana and I need too...” Christine started, then realized she didn’t have an excuse to get up. Jared looked back at them and made a really overexaggerated sigh.

“I don’t think Heathers is here, will you guys help me look in my room?”

“Yep, sure,”

“Absolutely,” Alana and Christine said at the same time, and got up to follow Jared to his room.

The only ones who were not aware that they were trying to leave Jeremy and Evan alone together, were, of course, Jeremy and Evan, who immediately trying to get up to follow everyone, but both their boyfriends softly grabbed their arms and pulled them back down. Evan and Jeremy avoided eye contact and said nothing. Barely made a sound. They didn’t even talk to their boyfriends. They just leaned onto them more.

Nobody even made a sound past the halls. It was if everyone else was...listening to them? Connor cleared his throat, thinking if he talked to Jeremy’s boyfriend it would set the stage for Jeremy and Evan to start talking. “I like your hoodie,” Connor said, nodding towards Michael.

“Thanks man. Uhhh, put the patches on myself,” Michael said, trying to keep the conversation going. Connor nodded. “Michael,”

“Connor,”

Michael smiled. “Good to see you two are still together. After your...date,” Michael said. He shrugged slightly. “I’m the-“

“A La Mode kid,” Connor said, smiling. “I recognized Jeremy from the pictures I was shown, I figured maybe you would be here too,” Someone coughed from the hallway, and Connor looked backwards. Jake was looking into the living room from the corner. In a completely obvious way. How did neither Jeremy, nor Michael see him yet? Jake gestured towards Jeremy and Evan furiously, before a hand came out from behind him and hit the top of his head. He looked back and moved out of the way.

“That makes sense. As soon as I saw Evan it just kinda snapped, that he was the kid at A La Mode that day and when Jared said you were coming over too...” Michael shrugged, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

Connor looked back at them and smiled. “Yeah,” An uneasy silence filled the room. Michael nudged Jeremy to get him to talk, but that only made him try to sink deeper into the couch. However, Michael only pushed him upward again, making Jeremy growl. Michael placed a kiss on his cheek and whispered something into his ear. Jeremy sighed and crossed his arms.

“Evan, you’ve been quiet,” Jeremy said. He looked at Michael, who tilted his head and gave Jeremy his best ‘what-the-fuck-was-that’ look.

Evan’s face gained a pink tint and his head popped up, so he could look at Jeremy better. Connor put his arm around Evan’s shoulder. “You have b-been too, Jeremy,” Evan said clearly.  

And they left it at that. They immediately looked away from each other and their boyfriends. A few seconds passed before Jared stepped in the room, holding up a DVD copy of Heathers. He looked less than amused. “Found it,”

There were many groans from the hall and people started walking to the living room. “Actually,” Michael said. Everyone stopped walking and looked at them. Michael started to stand up. He looked at Connor, who nodded and stood up with Evan, who just looked up at Connor in confusion. “Start the movie, we’re going outside for a second,”

“Nooo we’re not,” Jeremy stated.

“Yeeessss we are,” Michael replied, putting out his hand for Jeremy to take.

The boy looked at it for a second, and then looked back at Michael with anger in his eyes. Two seconds passed and then Jeremy scoffed, rolling his eyes and taking Michael’s hand. He stood up and Michael started to walk outside, leaving Evan and Connor to follow. Everyone watched them as they walked into the dining room and out the back door. No one said a word.

As soon as the door shut, Michael looked disapprovingly at Jeremy. “You guys are talking, whether you like it or not, ok? Jeremy, you’re going to apologize,”

“Well, he has to apologize too!” Jeremy said, crossing his arms.

“For what?” Connor spoke up.

“You can let him speak for himself,”

Evan started squeezing his wrist with his left hand, but Connor grabbed his left hand, holding it loosely behind him so Evan could pull away easily if he needed to, and he started rubbing Evan’s knuckles gently with his thumb. “ _For what?”_ Connor repeated.

“For...” Jeremy started. He gestured to Evan and sighed. “Look, he refused to answer any question I had for him and told me it- I shouldn’t be asking, that it was none of my business,” He paused and shrugged. He got a bit louder. “Which it is, you know. Jared’s my friend too, I just wanted to know what was going on,”

“Ye-ah, but they way you were asking me was just downright rude and, _no,_ it’s not really y-your business. Jared told me you’re still kinda rude to _him,_ do you feel comfortable telling me why and how and-and when?” Evan said. Connor smiled behind him and nodded when the boy looked back for a second to see if he was doing the right thing.

Jeremy huffed and looked up, tapping his foot. When he looked back at Evan, you could tell he was trying not to yell. Or cry. Or both. No one was really sure which one, but it _was_ one of those. He shrugged. “I-I get mad sometimes or something, I don’t know!” He held in his breath for a few seconds and when he finally let it out he squinted at Evan. “Look, is it any of your-?” He stopped. “Oh,”

He paused. No one said a thing. Probably waiting for Jeremy to apologize. But instead he threw his hands up in the air. “Still, he could have been nicer!”

Connor and Michael groaned.

“Ok, I guess, I’m sorry-“ Evan started.

Connor interrupted. “No, you’re not, Evan. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Listen-“

Michael put a hand up to stop Connor. “Hold on, let him finish,”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t nice enough, I g-guess, I could have been...” He trailed off, looking at Connor, then Jeremy again. “B-but, you’re going to have to learn to t-tolerate me. We’re going to be li-living together, in- like, I don’t really know how long, but some day. Sometime. M-maybe soon, b-but...” He trailed off again, not knowing what else to say. But this time he didn’t look back.

Jeremy sighed. “Fine. But I still don’t... _l-like_ you,” Evan was about to say something, but Jeremy stopped him. “Listen, I think you could be a nice- a fantastic guy and _brother_ but I feel, personally, like you _betrayed_ my trust before I even had time to get to trust you, and that might be stupid but that’s how I feel,” He uncrossed his arms and put them in the pockets of his jacket. He shrugged. “It just is. And I don’t...know why,”

Everyone was quiet for a few seconds. Evan looked downward, not sure of what to say. Connor looked over to Michael with some confused expression, which Michael just returned with a shrug. But something told Connor that he knew exactly why Jeremy was acting this way. He just wouldn’t tell anybody. “That’s-“

“Ok,” Evan interrupted Connor, looking back up at Jeremy. He shrugged. “It’s ok. I don’t u-understand why I feel the way I feel half the time,”

Jeremy smiled slightly, but didn’t say anything. Evan’s understanding or accepting of the way Jeremy felt just made him feel _worse,_ if he was honest. And made him kind of resent Evan more. What kind of guy just accepts that as a legitimate reason to not like someone? Not that it wasn’t true, but how could you accept that or not ask questions or not get mad? He _wanted_ to make Evan mad, so Evan blew up, then he’d have a _reason_ to hate him.

But at the same time, he didn’t know how to be mean to Evan, and frankly, didn’t want to hurt him. I mean, he was _nice._ Why was he so nice? Didn’t Jeremy get under his skin? Wasn’t he mad at Jeremy? Shouldn’t he hate him? _Why didn’t he hate him?_ Michael sighed. “Well, uhhh, it’s extremely cold. I think if I stand out here anymore my dick is going to freeze off so let’s go inside,”

Connor snorted. “Couldn’t have said it better,” He turned towards the door and opened it slowly. “You’ve got to be fucking...” Connor started. Evan, Michael, and Jeremy turned around to see everyone else standing next to the door, trying to listen in.

Jared smiled. “Hi,” He said in an overly cheerful manner. He held up the DVD case. “Movie?”

“We have snacks,” Jake said with his mouth full, holding up a bag of Lays potato chips. Jeremy rolled his eyes and smiled. Michael crossed his arms. Evan chuckled, along with Christine, and Chloe smacked Jake on the back of his head.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe smacking Jake on the back of his head for being stupid is my aesthetic
> 
> YPMTW discord:  
> https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


	4. The Girls Find Out Connor Likes The Notebook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're sad and you know it, clap your hands! Me: *Undying applause* 
> 
> I’m sooooo sorry for being gone so long, I just have way too much going on all at once and I promise this fic is not dead, I just need some time. My mental state has been all over the place recently, and it hasn't been a good...year. So far. And it's only March. I feel like this turned into a kind of important chapter because you learn a bit more about the girls, but I didn’t mean for it to really turn out like that. But it did. So, hope you like it.

****

“I feel like food,” Brooke said, looking around the mall.

“You always feel like food,” Chloe teased.

“No, I don’t,” said Brooke, poking her cheek quickly. “Still feel like Brooke to me,” She smiled widely, proud of her joke.

 “To cannibals,” Jenna said, “Brooke is the food,”

Chloe’s eyebrows popped up as she looked over Alana, Christine, and Zoe, to Jenna. “God, you are so weird,”

Jenna shrugged. “I’m just keeping it real. Gimmie back my phone and I’ll stop talking,” She glanced at Chloe, who now had a habit of taking Jenna’s phone and hiding it from her every time she refused to talk to the people around her and spent too much time on her phone. Jenna crossed her arms.

“No phone,” Zoe warned. Jenna looked up at her with puppy dog eyes, curling her bottom lip over her top. Zoe then immediately turned to Chloe. “And Jenna’s not weird, she’s charming,”

“Thanks, babe,” Jenna said sweetly, slapping on a smile.

“No problem, sweetie,” Zoe replied.

Alana scoffed. “That’s pretty gay for a couple of straight girls,”

Zoe and Brooke chuckled, while Jenna just shyly smiled and looked around at the stores as they passed. The girls had all become great friends after the week of ‘Operation: Brotherly Love’ as Jared put it. Everyone was introduced to Zoe the day afterword and they all loved her. And in return she loved everyone. In fact, after that day, everyone seemed to get along amazingly. Everyone except Evan and Jeremy. Which were really the only two people that _needed_ to get along.

Everyone else agreed. They were going to be living together. They were even moving in to the same house today. Why couldn’t they get along? Answer: It was mostly Jeremy’s fault. Evan didn’t really hate him much. He was mad at him, of course, everyone was mad that he was being so cold towards Evan for seemingly no reason.  

Maybe he was mad because his dad was getting remarried and he is taking it out on Evan, maybe he had an actual reason to hate Evan and he just wasn’t telling anyone, or maybe it was one of those things you just can’t describe. Whatever it was, he needed to get over it. It was honestly getting on everyone’s nerves. “Where first?” Zoe said.

“Food,” Brooke said.

“Frozen yogurt,” Zoe replied, smiling and looking at Brooke. It wasn’t a question.

“Pancakes,” Brooke sighed dreamingly, looking at Zoe.

Zoe sighed. “With whipped cream,”

“And chocolate,”

“And-“ Zoe started.

“Milkshakes,” The two girls said at the same time.

Zoe closed her eyes and breathed in. “Mmmm,”

Brooke sighed. They looked back at each other and giggled. Chloe shook Brooke’s arm to make her girlfriend look up at her. When Brooke looked up, Chloe raised her eyebrow. “Brooke, sweetie, are you leaving me?”

“Maybe,” Brooke stated.

Chloe forward again with a defeated expression. “Well, it was fun while it lasted,”

“Food actually sounds nice,” Alana said.

“Milkshakes,” Christine said, mimicking the two girls before her.

Chloe nodded, looking over everyone. “Food?” She asked. Everyone nodded. And that was that. So, they made their way to the food court.

Once they got there they quickly realized it’s actually very hard to pick a place to eat when you’re with six girls. So, naturally, everyone went in separate directions. Zoe and Brooke got frozen yogurt, Christine and Alana ate Japanese, Chloe went to Subway, and Jenna went to some other sandwich shop.

Everyone sat down and started eating without hesitation. And, get ready for the weirdest part, it was quiet. Even when Brooke stole half of Chloe’s sub and some of Alana’s sushi. They refused to talk as they ate, which Jenna joked about as they walked the mall after they left.

“It’s like, the only time we haven’t talked all day,” Jenna teased.

Christine crossed her arms. “Well, of course. Distract me from my food and I’ll probably kill you,”

Which was true for pretty much everyone. They walked around without a destination for a few minutes, deciding what they should do, before Chloe spoke up about her intentions.

“I need to go to BAM,” Chloe looked over to Zoe. “What book would piss off Connor the most?” She had become amazingly good friends with Connor. They actually got along pretty well for some unknown reason.

Zoe chuckled, looking back at Chloe in disbelief. “Uhh, he hates manga. Any kind. It’s not his thing,”

“Bitch is going down,” Jenna added.

“What book would make Connor the happiest?”

Zoe smiled wildly and stopped walking. When everyone looked back at her, she motioned for them to come closer. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this,” she whispered when everyone was around her, “but Connor really loves cheesy romance novels,” Chloe laughed loudly despite herself, and Christine tried to stop her laughter, but failed. “Along with cheesy romantic comedy movies and romantic drama,”

“Oh, my fucking god,” Brooke snorted.

“The Notebook is one of his favorites,” Zoe nodded.

“No!” Chloe said.

“He cries every time we watch it,”

Alana shook her head and chuckled. “What a double life, Connor,” She started laughing.

“He says hardcore horror is his favorite, but it’s _so_ not,” Zoe started laughing as well. “He can’t handle gore either,”

Brooke put her hand across her stomach, trying to stop herself from laughing. “Holy fuck, I would have never guessed,”

“He’s also afraid of thunderstorms,” Zoe said simply.

“I _love_ him,” Chloe said.

“Ditto,” Christine said. Each of their girlfriend nodded in agreement.

“I really would have never guessed,” Brooke repeated. “He acts so tough and he’s kind of intimidating. I mean, you guys think so too, right?”

“Wait,” Jenna interrupted. “We need to get ice cream, romantic movies, blankets, some slippers for each of us, and we’re going to have a Girls Plus Connor day,”

Christine laughed.

“One of us,” Chloe chanted softly. “One of us,”

Everyone else joined in as they made their way to BAM, which sold movies based off of books as well, luckily for them. “One of us! One of us!”

They all broke off in different directions, giggling. Zoe, Chloe, and Brooke made their way to the movie section, picking out Fault In Our Stars, Everything Everything, and Titanic, which was magically there, while Alana, Christine, and Jenna filled their arms with books they wanted. Two bags worth of things, all paid for by Zoe. Which wasn’t such a big deal to her, no matter how much Jenna complained about Zoe spending her money.

“I’m rich, I got this,” She said when anyone tried to pay for anything they wanted to get. “Let me be a good friend,”

“You can be a good friend without spending any of your money,” Jenna said.

Zoe thought about this for a minute. “Mmmm, I guess, but, see, I _have_ money and I don’t want you to spend any of yours,”

As they walked out of the store, Chloe walked up beside Zoe and nudged her in the shoulder. “I can pay for some,”

“Yes, we know you’re rich, princess,” Alana teased. Chloe stuck out her tongue.

Jenna pouted. “I feel bad that you’re paying for everything,”

“Literally, don’t,” Zoe said. “My dad and my mom give me an allowance that’s way more than I need, way more than I use, I don’t have to pay for my car or for food or cloths and shit, I’m not working, so think of it as my rich, crazy parents are paying for everything. I have more money than I know what to do with,”

Brooke shrugged. “I still kinda feel bad,” Jenna agreed.

“Ok, we have the movies,” Chloe said, changing the subject. “What next?”

“Snacks,” Zoe replied, as if it was obvious.

“More food!” Christine whooped, making her girlfriend pull her closer.

“Calm down, Bunny,”

“More food!” Christine whisper-yelled.

Chloe clapped once, making everyone look over at her. “Make a food list and we should go to Walmart because they have a bunch of shit. But we need to go to the one country store for the slippers and blankets,”

Zoe pointed at Chloe. “Good idea, they have the good ones,” She pulled out her phone, getting on the notepad app, then she looked back over to everyone, although they started walking to the little country shop beside Dollar Tree. Once she caught up to them, she asked; “What snacks do you guys want?”

“Defiantly chocolate chip cookie dough bites,” Alana said.

“Oh! I second that,” Brooke exclaimed.

Zoe nodded, typing on her phone. “Four to five things of cookie dough bites,”

“Soft pretzels,” Chloe said simply. Everyone agreed. “We need to ask all the boys what they want,”

Zoe looked up with her eyebrows raised. “All the boys?”

“All the boys,” Chloe confirmed. “We need to make them all have a girl’s day,”

“One of us,” Jenna said.

“I know for a fact Jake is going to want pretzel buffalo sauce bites,” Chloe added.

Zoe started typing again. “Me too, Jake,” Christine said.

The six girls walked into the store a few minutes later with a list the size of the Declaration of Independence containing enough food to put someone in a coma, Zoe put it. Everyone started running around the store, picking up anything they thought was cute. In the end, Brooke had grey bunny slippers and a wolf blanket, Chloe had fox slippers, Alana had a penguin hat and some matching penguin socks, Zoe had a stuffed bear and a Legend of Zelda blanket, Jenna had fuzzy blue slippers, Christine had bunny slippers as well, but they were black, and they all bought a giant blue quilt.

What they’d use it for? Who would own it? No one really had an answer. But, hey, at least it was there when they needed it. Zoe pulled out her phone as the girls left the store.

 **Star-Jazz [2:14]:** suggestions for the food list is now closed

 **WeedSocks [2:14]:** Bagel bites

 **WeedSocks [2:14]:** Cheetos

 **WeedSocks [2:14]:** Weed cake     

 **WeedSocks [2:15]:** Tide pods

 **WeedSocks [2:15]:** Gummy bears

 **Star-Jazz [2:15]:** should I be more concerned about the tide pods or weed cake

 **HeereAndQueer [2:15]:** Both

 **Star-Jazz [2:15]:** ok

 **WeedSocks [2:15]:** The souls of the innocent

 **Star-Jazz [2:16]:** bye mikey 

“We have movies, books, blankets, and slippers,” Brooke said as Zoe put her phone away. “Zozo, what foods do we have?”

Zoe rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone again. They waited a second before she started listing off the snack foods. “Four to five cookie dough bites, soft pretzels, buffalo pretzel bites, sour gummy worms, M&M’s, Peep marshmallows, Salt and Vinegar chips, Sour Cream and Onion chips, cottage cheese for the weirdo,” Chloe pouted in fake exaggerated sadness. “Regular gummy worms, Root Beer, Capri Suns, Orange Soda, vanilla angel food cake, mint chocolate chip ice cream, cookie dough ice cream, tide pods, and strawberry ice cream,”

“What was that last one?” Jenna asked.

Zoe looked up at her “Strawberry ice cream,”

“No, the one before that,”

“Cookie dough ice cream,”

Jenna opened her mouth to say something, closed it, and looked at the floor with a confused expression.

“To Walmart!” Zoe said enthusiastically, starting towards the exit. The other girls raised their hands in unison.

“To Walmart!”

“Fuck,” Zoe said, slowing down near the Walmart. Four police cars were by the entrance. Her phone started ringing and she quickly answered.

“Yeah, we’re not going in there,” Christine laughed in the speaker.

“To Target?” Zoe asked.

“Isn’t everything in there, like, hella expensive Zo?” Jenna’s question came through the phone.

Zoe shrugged, knowing Jenna couldn’t see her. “No,” Her and Chloe answered at the same time.

“You fucken’ rich kids,” Brooke teased from the back seat.

“Look, we’ll pay if it is super expensive,” Chloe said, leaning toward the driver’s seat to speak in Zoe’s phone. Zoe agreed.

“I guess we’ll go, just don’t spent _too_ much, ok?” Jenna said.  

“Ok,” Zoe said, starting to merge onto the road again. “To Target. Someone text the boy’s that we’re going to be longer than we thought,”

“Got it!” Christine said happily.

“Bye,”

“Bye!”

The call ended as the girls started their way to Target.

 **#1 Mom [3:26]:** Something happened at Walmart

 **Memeboio [3:26]:** Were you guys in there

 **Memeboio [3:26]:** Are you ok

 **Memeboio [3:27]:** Are you hurt

 **Memeboio [3:27]:** Where are you now

 **#1 Mom [3:27]:** We weren’t inside, but now we’re going to Target

 **Memeboio [3:27]:** WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT IN TWO SEPRATE TEXTS CHRISTINE

 **CornOnTheCon [3:27]:** oh my god

 **CornOnTheCon [3:27]:** jake has a heart

 **Mom #2 [3:27]:** Awww <3 <3 <3

 **Memeboio [3:27]:** Shut it beck

When the girls made it to Target, the first thing anyone said was: ”I don’t think I’ve ever been in a store that wasn’t Walmart,” Said by Brooke. Jenna and Alana agreed.

Zoe gestured to the inside of the store with both her hands. “Welcome to Target, girls. It’s the Walmart for the middle class,”

“Coooollll,” Jenna whispered.

“Over here,” Chloe said, walking towards the shopping carts. She grabbed one and the girls started making their way through the food isle, stopped every 20 seconds by Brooke or Christine asking for some kind of food item, which they got half the time.

Four different ice creams, being mint chocolate chip, cookie dough, strawberry, and the addition of lemon, a cake-mix box, and a cereal box later, Christine and Alana left for the restrooms, Chloe and Jenna had wandered off, and the only people looking for food were Zoe and Brooke.

Who weren’t even taking it seriously. Twizzlers, frosted cookies, sour gummy worms, and regular gummy bears laid on top of Brooke, who was in the shopping cart with her legs dangling over the side, talking to Zoe as they walked through the store. Brooke held her phone in the most awkward positions, taking selfies of her and Zoe every 5 seconds.

In some pictures, Zoe never noticed, and in some, Zoe would make the most unattractive face she could pull off.

 **HelpImLohst [3:31]:** weewooweewoo.jpg

 **HelpImLohst [3:32]:** tttttttarget.jpg

 **Memeboio [3:32]:** Please take her phone away zoe

 **HelpImLohst [3:32]:** shutupjake.jpg

 **HelpImLohst [3:32]:** besties.jpg

 **Memebio [3:33]:** Zoe

 **HelpImLohst [3:33]:** iminashoppingcart.jpg

 **HelpImLohst [3:33]:** mwahahahah.jpg

 **Memebio [3:33]:** Zoe

 **HelpImLohst [3:33]:** ihavethetwizzlersnowbitches.jpg

 **Memebio [3:34]:** Zoe

 **HelpImLohst [3:34]:** I will NEVER stop

 **Memebio [3:34]:** Look at the damn phone please stop her

 **HelpImLohst [3:34]:** suckitjake.jpg

 **HelpImLohst [3:34]:** lookhowfasticantakethesepictures.jpg

 **Memebio [3:35]:** ZOE

“Ahh, I love seeing him suffer,” Zoe said.

Brooke gasped and smiled, raising her eyebrows. “Oh, kinky!” Zoe threw a pack of M&M’s at Brooke’s face before she could block it. “Ow!”

“Whore!” Zoe teased.

“He’s gay you know,” Brooke retaliated.

Zoe chuckled, reaching for something on the top shelf. “Ha, yeah, it’s not like I’d have a chance if he wasn’t,” Brooke sat up a little more and Zoe put her head down in shame, standing on her tiptoes and holding the edge of a shelf. “Damn, I wish Chloe were here,”

“You...? Do you...?” Brooke started, but she trailed off, holding a smug smile.

Zoe looked at her with a confused expression. “Hm?” Suddenly, it hit her. “Oh, god no. I’m just saying I’m ugly and he’s not ugly and it wouldn’t work out,” She reconsidered. “I mean, people who look like him, cute people, they just don’t like me,” She paused and reconsidered again. “I mean, I’m not going to _deny_ that he’s cute or something, but I don’t like him. Like, you know, you’re cute and Alana’s cute and Christine’s cute, but it’s not like I, like, have a thing for you, you know?”  

Brooke shrugged. “Whatever boats your float,” She said, holding her phone up as Zoe stood on her tip toes to reach some can of soda on the top shelf, but couldn’t quite reach it. She made a duck face and quickly snapped a picture.

 **HelpImLohst [3:37]:** shortie.jpg

 **Memeboio [3:37]:** GOD DAMNIT WOMAN YOURE BLOWING UP MY PHONE

 **WeedSocks [3:37]:** Haha Jake’s pissed

 **Memeboio [3:37]:** IM TRYING TO MOVE A BED

Christine started flinging excess water from her hands as she made her way out of the restroom only to hear a soft voice speaking to her around the corner. “I swear...mhm...mhm, I forgot to text you, I guess, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again...” Not to her? She peered around the corner. Luckily, Alana couldn’t see her.  

“I’m being safe,” She paused and shook her head. “They are. They’re the nicest people I’ve met so far, and they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me at all,” She stopped again, and she gained somewhat of a frightened expression as she looked around. “Target,” When she looked back down, she nodded again. Two more seconds passed before she smiled wildly. “Ok, Daddy. I promise. I love you too. I’ll be home on time, I promise,” She started biting her nails. “I know...I love you too...bye, Daddy...”

She hung up without any knowledge of Christine creeping up behind her. She smiled and chuckled, looking down at the phone and whispering “Yes!” enthusiastically. Christine tapped Alana’s shoulder, making the girl shriek and jump, she turned around to face Christine and sighed, but soon smiled, taking Christine’s hands in her own. “I think he trusts me!”

Christine smiled. “Yay!” She kissed her forehead. “That’s great, Lans,”

“I know!” She squealed. “This is the first time he’s let me go on a road trip all with any friends, or even let me go to the mall with friends. He usually doesn’t trust them. Or me. I think it’s me he doesn’t trust, but I think it’s changing,”  

“That’s great,” Christine nodded, smiling. “Wow, that’s really great. I’m happy for you, babe,” They stood there for a few minutes, taking turns giggling as Alana tried to find something to say. She found nothing to explain just how she felt, so she kept on giggling. Christine nodded. “Let’s go see if we can find Zoe and Brooke,”

When they found them, the cart was full of things on and off the list. Including tide pods. Zoe couldn’t resist. It was for the meme. Jenna and Chloe were there as well, with Jenna begging every 5 seconds: “Please give me my phone,” or “Chloe, I need my phone,” or “Please give it back,” And every time, the answer was. “No,”

“Please,”

“No,”

“Please,”

“No,”

“Please,”

“Ok,”

“Really?!”

“No,”

Jenna groaned. “God damn it, Chloe,” She paused. “Please,”

“No,”

“God, my phone is blowing up,” Christine said, getting out her phone.

“Mine too,” Alana said.

“So is Jenna’s and mine,” Chloe added.

Brooke innocently looked up from her own phone. “Jake, Connor, Michael, and Rich are sending photos of random stuff as revenge for all my photo’s. But now at least we know what the new room looks like. Or has,”

Christine shrugged, looking at her phone. “That’s a nice wooden floor,”

“Is that ceiling pained white?” Alana squinted at her phone.

Chloe nodded her head. “Yep. That is, in fact, a bookshelf,”

All things which they already knew about Jeremy’s room. Brooke put her hands up in defense. “Ok, I get it, jeez,”

“We need to take a group picture and send it to them,” Jenna suggested. “Our final one of the day. Promise,” She said, glancing at Brooke. Who, again, put her hands up in defense. “Ok,” Jenna said as Zoe pulled out her phone and stood in front of the cart.

“Jenny, beside me,” Zoe commanded. Jenna walked beside Zoe, making sure they could still see Brooke. Chloe stood at the handle of the shopping cart, smiling happily, while Christine and Alana stood next to her with their arms around each other. Christine quickly pressed a kiss into Alan’s cheek just as Chloe looked down to her girlfriend lovingly. Jenn held bunny ears behind Zoe and Zoe just smiled.

“Cheese!” She exclaimed. She was the only one who did so, but that was ok. Everything was just perfect. _Click!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I’ve been listening to Sincerely Me on repeat for five days eating nothing but cheesecake and I feel fine  
> Friend: I think that’s depression  
> Me: Lol lets aim for another five days  
> Friend: Jason no  
> Me: Jason yes
> 
> *points at the dying YPMTW discord* https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


	5. Apocalypse of the Damned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been super out of it lately so this chapter might be very very bad and I'm sorry

Evan scrolled mindlessly through Facebook, not even paying attention to who posted what or who was _doing_ what or even what any of the posts said. Everyone else was out, leaving Jeremy and Evan alone in the house. Their friends went out to the store and their parents, to work. For the first hour and a half after the boys woke up, Michael kept Jeremy on the phone, explaining where he was going and why he was going.

Without this reassurance, Jeremy almost had a panic attack. Which Evan thought was a bit weird. They were just going to the store, what was so bad or scary about that? Jeremy had acted like Michael was moving to the next state over without telling him. Evan didn’t see Connor daily, and he never acted like that. Well, once. Connor’s battery was out and he was gone almost the whole day, leaving Evan to wonder what happened to him, but he called as soon as he got home.

Once Jeremy got off the phone with Michael, he laid back down on his bed, and went to sleep. Or at least pretended like he was going to sleep. Poorly. Wasn’t he an actor or something? Jeremy’s day started with a phone call, Evan’s started with a short message. ‘love you, don’t kill ur brother’ from Connor and ‘left your lazy ass to go to the store, b back around 2ish hopefully’ from Jared. It was only a week after they moved in and, no, Jeremy and Evan weren’t the best of friends, but at least Jeremy hadn’t killed Evan yet. Or the other way around.

Evan had gotten better about defending himself and speaking up and for the most part, that was a good thing. For the most part. They would get on occasional disagreements, but it’s never escalated to more than anything but either Jeremy or Evan walking out of the room angerly, eating something, and coming back 10 minutes later. Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as Evan thought it would be.

Sometimes, the boys even got along. Well, what I mean is, is that sometimes they could do activities together and agree on certain facts or not yell at each other. Like watching movies, watching T.V, eating, finding something that was lost, exchanging puns randomly, and Jeremy had somehow taken interest in Evan’s writing and helped him with it, which Evan was grateful of. Someone besides his boyfriend and best friend had taken interest in his writing! Someone he didn’t even consider a close friend, or even really a friend at all. No offence. Jeremy probably felt the same way.

He’d gotten himself enrolled in Jeremy’s school and, though he only attended for a week so far, found out quickly, Rich was right, they did _nothing._ I mean, there were a few in-class worksheets and things like that to determine if the grade should still remain a 100, but it was nothing too hard.

A few minutes later Jeremy finally rolled out of his bed. As in, _rolled_ out, and onto the floor. It made a huge thudding sound. He looked across the room and down to the floor where Jeremy lay, face down. No one moved or said anything for a few seconds. Evan raised his eyebrow. One...two...three. “Are...you ok?” How did that not hurt?

Jeremy mumbled something incoherent. Evan just looked back at his phone slowly. Only a few seconds passed before Jeremy rolled onto his back, making a tiny sound, resulting in Evan looking back down at him. Two seconds passed. He rolled his head over so he could look at Evan better. “I’m bored,” He whined. “Wanna do something?”  

“You’re asking me?” Jeremy shrugged in response. Who else was he asking Evan? Which looks kinda weird when you’re on the floor. “Like what?” He asked. Jeremy sat up abruptly, looking at Evan.

“We could...umm, play video games?” Jeremy said, glancing at his T.V.

Evan looked too. “I’m bad at that,”

“Video games?”

“Yeah,”

“Oh,”

“Well, you wanna do it anyway?” Jeremy asked. “I got a game,”

Evan shrugged, watching Jeremy lift himself up to get a game out of a drawer under the T.V. He pulled out a case for some game Evan had never even heard of, with a bunch of zombies on the cover. He squinted and tilted his head.

“Apocalypse of the Damned?”

Jeremy pulled two wireless controllers out of the same drawer and started connecting them to the PS4, simultaneously turning on the T.V. “Michael and I like it,”

“Ok, how-how do you play?”

Jeremy didn’t say anything until the controllers were connected and the title screen was shown. Eerie, low volume music played in the background as he walked over to Evan’s bed and sat down beside him calmly, pulling his feet up so he was completely on the bed. He handed Evan a white controller, holding his own.

“You just shoot and try to stay alive and get to the end. You have five lives, each level, ok? And the score is dependent on how many zombies you kill, got it?”

“Got it,” Evan nodded. He didn’t have it.

Jeremy spent the next few minutes teaching Evan the controls, going though them carefully. When the game started, Evan died almost instantly. “Wow, that was great,” Jeremy deadpanned.

Evan scoffed. “I told you I was bad at this,”

“Shame on me for not believing you,” Jeremy sighed.

The boy chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. You probably should do that,”

“Believe you?”

“Yeah,” Evan said like it was common fact. “Would I lie to you?”

Jeremy paused for a second, thinking. He looked up for a second, then back down at the game. He shrugged. “I mean,”

“Shut up, Jeremy,”  

They started a new game and Jeremy shouted out tips to help Evan on the way, getting really into the game. They passed the first level after four attempts and moved onto the next.

The boys talked about nothing really important while they played. First it was Evan’s school, second it was Jeremy’s second school play, which he passed off as his first as he didn’t consider the first one his ‘first’, then Evan singing in choir in 7th grade and dropping out before the first concert. It was honestly kind of nice. Relaxing. No, Evan wasn’t good at the game, at all, but thanks to Jeremy, he wasn’t dying every five seconds.

Jeremy took in a deep breath, debating on whether he should say something or not. Two seconds later, he let it out. “Can I be honest? For just a second?” Jeremy asked without looking away from the T.V screen.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“You’re not that bad of a person,” Jeremy sighed. Evan raised his eyebrows and made a little ‘oh’ sound but didn’t look away from the game. That was not what he was expecting. “I’m just mad at you. You’re someone I’ve learned to hate before I even knew you. And,” _Now I know what that feels like,_ he was about to say, but stopped himself.

“Oh?”

He shrugged. “Listen, Jared told me everything, but I don’t think he’s all to blame. I mean, it was a shared effort. That whole incident,”

“I do-I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t understand,” Evan said calmly. He didn’t understand. Jared was wrong. He knew Jared was wrong. Everyone knew Jared was wrong. Except Jeremy, it seemed like. Why couldn’t he get over it?

“You basically blocked him out of your life and you refused to try and talk it out with him, really,”

“Why does it always go back to Jared with you?”

“That’s just the main root of our problem here,” Jeremy said, a little rudely. But, instead of snapping back, Evan smiled smugly.

“Sounds like someone has a crush,” he teased.

“Shut up, man,”

“You’re not denying it,”

Jeremy scoffed playfully. “You need to apologize to Jared,”

“For what?”

“What do you mean for what?” Jeremy asked, sounding a bit insulted, but he didn’t look away from the T.V screen. “I just told you,”

Evan shrugged. “Look, even Jared realized he was wrong. I don’t need to- I’ve done nothing wrong. I did what I needed to do,”

“Be a dick?” Jeremy asked plainly.

“Jared’s moving on, why can’t you?”

“Because Jared’s not moving on,” He answered.

And he wasn’t. Well, was _and_ wasn’t. He, of course, wasn’t going to open the conversation with Evan again, but he would talk to people like Jeremy, Michael, Rich, and Christine about it. _I want to be better for him,_ he would say, _I’m just afraid to mess things up again. I don’t want him to leave._

 _You’re already being the best you can for him,_ Jeremy would always reply. _And if he doesn’t see that, he can fuck off._  

“What do you mean?”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “He thinks you hate him and Connor hates him and he can’t be himself and he doesn’t want to let himself BE himself around you guys and that it’s all his fault and he-”

“Well, it is his fault,” Evan interrupted. It was quiet for a moment, but then Jeremy breathlessly let out a chuckle, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Really?”

Evan nodded slightly, not caring if Jeremy could see him or not. “Yes, really. He was being a jerk over and over again, and if I never blocked him- if-if Connor never blocked him, then I’d never learn to stand up to him, I think. And he is himself! We’re in a better place now,”

Jeremy chuckled again. Loudly, this time. “You’re so stubborn, Evan,”

“I’m just telling the truth,”

“No, you’re telling what you want the truth to be,”

“We were getting along! Why did you have to bring your boyfriend into this?”

The crush thing was only brought up to tease Jeremy before, but maybe he did like Jared. Maybe that was the reason why he kept trying to make sure Evan apologized. It made sense, in a way. No one would keep this argument going on this long unless someone they truly loved and understood was getting hurt.

“He’s _not_ my boyfriend,” Jeremy growled out.

Evan scoffed. “You act like it,”

Jeremy finally pounded the pause button and snapped his head towards Evan. He was smiling cruelly, with his eyebrows creased so he looked confused. “You’re impossible to get along with,”

“I’m imposs-?”

He shook his head. “Is he really himself? Or is he just what YOU want him to be?” Jeremy interrupted, dropping his smile.

Evan looked towards him with his head slightly tilted, a hint on disbelief on his face. Both boys were quiet for two seconds. “What does that even mean?”

“Just,” Jeremy sighed, clearly frustrated. He looked at the T.V, then back to Evan. “Have you even tried talking to Jared about this whole thing?”

“No. Because he _moved on,_ ” The boy calmly explained.

“How would you know that if you never talked to him about anything?”

“I, look, if he-if he didn’t I, he would, just, I would know, alright?” Evan forced out.

“The only way you could know for sure is by talking to him about it,” Jeremy said. “And you refuse to do that. I think it would be good for you to talk about it,”

“Why?” Evan asked genuinely, squinting at Jeremy. “Why would I reopen that? All our fights? It’s over, we’re in a better place,” It was true, wasn’t it?

“ _You’re_ in a better place, Jared’s-“

“ _Jared,”_ Evan interrupted, getting increasingly upset, “is doing just fine. He would _tell me_ if he wasn’t,” He stated. This was fact to him. Jared always told Evan everything. _Everything._ He never held anything back. Why would it be different now?

“Are you sure about that?” Jeremy asked.

“I’m really-“

“Do you,” Jeremy interrupted, “ever wonder what Jared talks to me about when we’re alone?”

“No, and I don’t _ask him about his personal life,_ Jeremy,”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I can tell that you’re a _great_ friend,”

Evan raised his voice. “You don’t know-“

“Did you know that Jared is in _love_ with you?”

“STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE YOU’VE KNOWN HIM LONGER THAN ME!” Evan yelled. “I’ve KNOWN him since we were SIX. You haven’t even known him for a year!”

“YOU TALK LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW _SHIT_ ABOUT HIM,” Jeremy yelled back, looking Evan straight in the face. “I’ve-“

“You weren’t there. You were, you might have heard, but that’s not-it’s really-“

“I’m not saying he wasn’t an ass to you at times but you-“

“I _CAN’T_ DO THIS!” Evan yelled, putting his hands up to his ears, but not covering them. “I can’t!” He stopped for a few seconds and then looked over to Jeremy. “I want to be a good brother to you, I...” He trailed off, studying Jeremy’s face.

His eyes were narrowed at Evan, looking straight into his eyes. Which was a bit impressive. Evan couldn’t look into someone’s eyes for that long without getting nervous or scared. But it was also quite intimidating. Which was probably what Jeremy was going for. 

“You will _never_ , be my brother...” Jeremy spit out, glaring at Evan, who just looked at him, wide eyed and a little disappointed.

But it was Jeremy. And it was always like this with Jeremy. It always came back to Jared. Why? Jeremy slipped off Evan’s bed, walked over to his own bed and fell down face first. Evan rolled his eyes, turned off the T.V, put the controllers up, glared at Jeremy for a few seconds, then sat back down on his bed and turned on his phone.

Why couldn’t Jeremy just _let it go?_ Everyone was over it. Jared was fine, Jeremy didn’t know what he was talking about. They just had a stupid teenage fight. Whatever, it was over now. Jared would have told Evan if he was still torn up about it, right? He wouldn’t keep secrets from him, they were best friends. Right? Jeremy was just beating a dead horse. Maybe he just liked the drama. Anyway, everyone knew Jared was being a jerk and Evan was right in blocking him and even yelling at him. He wouldn’t have stopped being a jerk otherwise. Right?

Right?

___

“Was....was it a good idea to leave Jeremy and Evan alone?” Connor asked.

Jared shrugged in the passenger seat. “Probably not,”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My biggest fear is Will Roland finding my fanfictions and reading them. And I don’t know if it would be better or worse if he liked them. You know, if anyone from the Be More Chill or Dear Evan Hansen cast found my fanfictions, it would be bad. And Joe Tracz. I look up to that man. I think that is my biggest fear. Moths are a close second. A very close second
> 
> YPMTW discord: https://discord.gg/TDJjtvY  
> Yeet


	6. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I just remembered I wrote another story where the color red has a very deep meaning and in this chapter its just three nerds with red hair dye

“Ow, ow, OW! It burns! What the fuck?” Jenna said, breathing out sharply. She put her hand up to her head quickly, getting ready to touch an aluminum foil covered streak of hair before thinking a second and putting it back down on her lap, wincing. She rolled her eyes up to the top of her head, so she could see what was going on. It didn’t work, of course, but that didn’t stop her from doing it again. And again. And again.

Rich raised his eyebrow. “Have you never dyed your hair before?”

“Only once, and it was temporary dye I think,” Jenna replied, rolling her eyes down and looking straight ahead of her at the wall, thinking for a moment. “And I was ten,” she added. “I don’t remember it itching like this, so it must have been temporary dye,”

“Or you did it wrong,” he teased.

Jenna crossed her arms and started to pout before uncrossing them and shrugging. “Well, I mean, I was ten, so, probably,”

“Didn’t your parents do it with you?”

She sighed and looked at her phone, which she picked up from beside her in the empty tub, waving Rich’s question off with her other hand. And that was that. Jared was already looking on his phone, sitting on the toilet seat, with his chin resting on his knees. His bare toes curled around the seat’s edge. Rich sat on the sturdy sink beside him, letting his legs dangle off the side, and Jenna was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, waiting patiently for 41 more minutes to go by.

“I can’t believe Evan and Connor aren’t here yet,” he pouted, putting his phone on the windowpane right beside him. “Who’s going to tell me I’m making bad life choices for dying my hair _now_?”

As soon as the words escaped him, Jenna looked him straight in his eyes. “Jared. You’re making bad life choices,”

A few seconds passed, as if Jared was pondering whether it was good enough or not, before he whined again and threw his head back, looking at the ceiling. “It’s not the same!”

Rich shrugged nonchalantly and nodded a bit. “I feel you. If Brooke’s here telling me I’m doing something stupid, the world just feels right. Jake would just do the stupid thing with me,”

“You always need one of each person,”

“And then one that complains the whole time but does the stupid thing anyway because they don’t want to feel left out,”

Without missing a beat, the two boys replied; “Chloe,”

Jenna shook her head in shame. “You guys are weird,”

“Yet, you decided to hang out with us today,” Jared remarked.

“I decided nothing. You guys dragged me in here,”

Rich crossed his arms and sat up straight. “And you never left,” Jenna sighed and rolled her eyes. “But that _does_ make me curious. When are they coming home?”

Jared sighed, looking downward. He shrugged. “Suppos’t to be 34 minutes ago,” he mumbled.

“Damn,” Jenna replied.

The bathroom got quiet as Rich was debating whether or whether not he should ask something. Sure, Jared said he wanted Connor and Evan to come home and see what he was doing so Evan would chastise him, not personally liking dyed hair and feeling as if there are several health risks that come from dyed hair, and Connor would tease him, being...uhh, well, Connor. That wasn’t _exactly_ what Rich wanted to talk about, but that brought up another subject. Evan. And Connor. Both of them.

Jared didn’t exactly like talking about the subject, always claiming that it wasn’t important, or he wasn’t good at talking about it, or there was nothing to talk about. But the fact that Jared was still hurting was painfully obvious to Rich, Jeremy, and Christine, and they all three knew that Jared still had stuff to talk about, he just...didn’t really want to.

Yes, he _had_ talked about it before with everyone, but he didn’t go into much about how he felt. He told them he was sad and sacred Evan would leave him again or he would mess up. He really didn’t want anything like that to happen again. He was scared Evan and Connor still hated him. He was also _convinced_ that he was the only source of the problem when the fact is, he really wasn’t. And almost everyone knew that so far. Especially Jeremy.

But Rich could tell...there was maybe a little more that Jared was feeling than what he let on to, and now seemed like a good time to talk to him about whatever. His mom wasn’t home. No one else was listening, except Jenna, and she wanted to help Jared just as much as Rich did.     

Rich shot a knowing look at Jenna, who just nodded in response, and then looked at Jared, who was looking at his phone expectantly. “Hey, Jared?”

“Yeah?” he responded, looking out the window. It was clear that he was lost in thought by now.

“How are you feeling?”

Jared paused, not expecting the question. He looked back to Rich, eyebrows raised. “Ok? Why? Is there something wrong?” He looked fine. Not really worried about anything. Not necessarily sad. Maybe bored. But that didn’t mean Rich wasn’t going to bring anything up with him. He wasn’t just going to wait until the subject came up naturally, that could take months. And, just because he didn’t look it doesn’t mean he wasn’t thinking of Connor and Evan. Jared had gotten very good at hiding emotions.

Rich shrugged. “No, just wondering how you’re feeling,” It was quiet for a bit. Both the teens in the room were looking at Jared, waiting for him to say or do something, but he never did. Rich’s voice got lower, even though no one else was in the house. “You talk to Evan about...?”

Jared shook his head lightly, not letting Rich finish his question. He knew what it was already. Everyone has been trying to get Jared to tell Evan that he still felt upset about how things ended. They all knew he was still upset.  “No,” He mumbled, then looked out the window again and scoffed. “What’s the use anyway? I mean, I’m just going to somehow mess that up too, like I end up doing with all our conversations,”

“I don’t think that-“ Jenna started.

“The first time he ever ignored me for a long amount of time was 5th grade,” Jared blurted out, looking at Jenna with his eyes narrowed. Everyone silenced for about five seconds, not knowing exactly what to say, until Jared spoke again. “He ignored me for three days. I look back on it and think, why was I so mad? It was three days? But we were in 5th grade, so it probably felt like forever. I told him that he was being too whiny and started making fun of him because he cried for Heidi at a camp-out,” He sighed, his expression softened, and he leaned back a bit. “I thought I was just teasing him, but he got pissed. Somehow, I manage to turn every interaction with him after that day into a fight,” 

“I haven’t heard that story,” Rich said.

Jared shrugged, looking back and forth between Jenna and Rich. “I haven’t told you guys everything,”

“You wanna start with that?” Jenna asked calmly.

“Telling you guys everything?” He looked back at her and raised his eyebrow.

Jenna nodded slightly. “We have time,”

“It could be nice to get all this off your chest, Jared,” Rich added.  

“Yeah, and we’ll be able to asses the situation better,”

“You haven’t really filled us in on all of the details,” Rich said, making Jared look back at him again. “All we know is that Evan ditched you for a few months and you think it might have been your fault,” He got a little quieter. “Or, at least, that’s all I know,”

“I don’t think it’s totally your fault,” Jenna said loudly to make sure Jared heard it. And understood it. It _wasn’t_ all his fault, that was what everyone except Connor and Evan could agree on. Hopefully today, they could make Jared realize it wasn’t all his fault too. “I mean, you- you haven’t told me anything, but there are always two people at fault, always. In fights like these,” Jared held his breath. “And, just, tell the story, don’t say things like, this is my fault, this is what I should have done differently, this is why Evan did what he did...just...tell the story,”  

After a few seconds of thinking, Jared let out his breath and looked downwards, fiddling with his hands. “Well, ummm, last year? I guess most of it started in the middle of the school year, but things got really bad when, ummm, Evan...” he paused, a painful lump forming in his throat. He swallowed it down slowly, feeling guilt rise in him already. Rich and Jenna shared a look. They knew he what he was feeling right now, and it would take a lot of work to make him not feel that way anymore. They looked back at him. Jared sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he continued. “When Evan fell from a tree,”

___

Rich nodded slowly, taking in every word, occasionally glancing towards Jenna who seemed just as attentive to the story. “And...Jeremy,” Jared sighed. “I know he’s doing what he thinks is right. I know he’s asking about it. I know he’s just _waiting_ for Evan to apologize to me. But it’s getting on Evan’s nerves. If he’d just let it go, maybe they could get along. I don’t see why he’s so hung up on this,” Jared opens his mouth to say something else, but shuts it soon after, thinking better of himself. No one seems to see.

“Evan should have handled it differently,” Rich said.

Jared scoffed. “I should have handled it differently,”

“Yeah. But Evan should have too,”

Jared got quiet and continued looking forward. Neither teen in the room could read his expression.

“He got his apology,” Jenna chimed in. “Now you need yours,”

“Look, you both apparently didn’t realize you were hurting each other, from what I hear. You were being...you. You were joking around, being, maybe a bit of a dick, a little sarcastic and rude, but that’s just your style, and not everyone can handle it,” Rich said. Jared looked at him with a hint of a grin on his face, which he had tried to bite down, but it didn’t work. Upon seeing it, Rich smiled as well.

He shrugged a bit. “And Evan was trying to protect himself from being hurt. And, Connor was trying to protect Evan from being hurt as well. They just did it in wrong ways,” He chuckled.  “I love you, Jared, but I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you were 110% right,”

Jared chuckled as well. “Good, don’t. I know I wasn’t,”

“But he wasn’t either,” The boy reassured. Jared smiled. “You deserve an apology. Just go and talk to him about this. Talk though it,”

The room was quiet for a minute as Jared looked between Rich and Jenna, who were both smiling. Maybe today was the day they _did_ get through to Jared. Maybe now Jared would be more likely to talk to Evan and Connor. And even if that wasn’t true and everything wasn’t going to be resolved as soon as everyone would like, at least it was closer to being resolved.

Everyone loved Evan. No one really disliked him. Except, arguably, Jeremy, who might actually just be mad at him and actually really enjoy Evan’s company, which was a theory among Christine, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna (Nobody knows anything Jeremy feels. Except maybe Michael). But liking Evan didn’t mean that they were going to take his side all the time. And it definitely didn’t give Evan a right to make Jared feel like everything was his fault, even if he was doing it unintentionally.

“...thanks,”

Rich raised his eyebrows. “Is that a sarcastic thanks?”

Jared chuckled again. Louder, this time. “No. That’s a ‘thanks’, thanks. This...”

“See what happens when you just talk to other people?” Jenna said smugly. She knew Jared didn’t like it. Hell, Jared had just told her tat he didn’t like it, and it was really hard to apologize to Evan the first time around. That’s why he didn’t want to apologize so honestly the other times. But maybe if he did...

He interrupted his thoughts by rolling his eyes. “It’s just-“

Jenna interrupted. “Scary?”

“And it’s super hard, right?” Rich added.  

“Yeah,” Jared agreed, nodding.

“But it’s like pulling out a splinter,” Rich said. “You need to do it or else it’s just going to get worse and worse and suddenly you have an infection. In this case, unattended emotions are just going to blow up in your face. You have massive breakdowns or get mad easily or don’t know what to do. Well, now you know what to do and you can fix it,” He put his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Evan might be happy with this ending. But I know that you aren’t. If you need us to be behind you for support when you talk to him, we’ll be there. But we’re not doing it for you,” He looked at Jenna to confirm, who just nodded and smiled.

“I know I have to do that myself,”

“You confronting Connor too? I mean, I know you don’t have much of a problem with _him_ but...”

Jared started thinking. “You know, the day I apologized to Evan? Connor mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ towards me, and I never really got to ask him what he meant,” He shook his head. He hadn’t thought about it much but, what the hell did Connor mean?

“Well, you should,”

He smiled. “Ok,”

Rich grinned, leaning over to Jared to whisper in his ear. Jared raised his eyebrow in confusion but didn’t move away. “And after you make up with them,” he whispered, “you can ask them both out on a date,”

Jared’s heart suddenly jumped, and his face reddened. “Shut your fucking up, Richard,” he said through his teeth.

He shrugged, pulling away. “Hey, I would,” Jared elbowed him.

“Shut your fucking up,”

An alarm rang, and Jenna threw her head up.

“Holy hell, it’s finally time to rinse this shit off. I am never dying my hair again,” Jenna stated, turning on the water. She looked at her phone again for a minute, turning the alarm off. “I lied, I’d like to dye it pink, next, maybe. What do you guys...?” She started, and then trailed off as soon as she saw Jared, cherry red, and Rich, smiling. She raised her eyebrows and looked back at the tub, forming an ‘O’ shape with her mouth.

“I’m sure Connor and Evan would think your new red streak is hot,” He whispered, chuckling.

“I swear to god, Rich,”

Jared didn’t know when, or how it happened really. Well, the crush on Evan was around for years. He just didn’t know how to act, what to do...so he was sarcastic. So, he was a bit rude. So, he was a bit demanding. So, he called Evan a ‘family friend’ and made fun of him because he was scared if Evan ever saw him being clingy, sappy, or trying to be cute, he would leave. Because Jared didn’t like it when he was clingy and sappy and emotional, so why would anyone else like that? The crush on Connor was...unplanned. For the longest time, he hated the boy, then suddenly, when he didn’t see him every day, he started thinking about how much he missed him. His feelings started getting weirder from there.

But no matter what happened, he was 100% sure telling Rich about his crush on both of them was a bad idea.

“You know you love me,” Rich said out loud.

Jared stuffed his head in his hands. “Debatable,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reALLY sorry this took so long, this year has just been terrible so far and I haven't been in the mood to write but I also really want to continue writing so most of my time is spent looking at my laptop but refusing to move and just wishing this would write itself. Like, I already want to die and it's only may
> 
>  
> 
> YPMTW discord:  
> https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


	7. Waterfalls, Radio Pop Songs, and Slushies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm not done with this chapter yet; this is not all there is going to be. I'm trying to make it kind of a longer chapter about Alana and Christine like Five Steps in OTK, but I figure instead of having you all wait forever, I'll post what I have so far right now. Plus, it might motivate me to actually finish the rest of the chapter, who knows

Christine patiently stood outside the blue house. Alana’s house. She had only seen it twice before, but never had she gone inside. And today wouldn’t be the day she went inside either. She was only there to pick Alana up for their date. First date, in fact. Or, ahem, first _official_ date, with no one else around. They had both decided on a picnic in the park. For a March day, it was pretty warm, and it was supposed to stay that way all week.

The more Christine stood thinking about it, the more she realized there was only a couple of weeks of big snowfalls in winter and then the rest was light snow showers. Barely enough to stick. She read somewhere that warm weather earlier in the year meant the next winter would be terrible. She silently hoped it both would and would not be true. Some snow would be nice, but hopefully it wasn’t going to be too much.

She was so lost in thought about snow that she almost didn’t realize the door opened at all until Alana spoke up. “Hey!” she said breathlessly. She smiled brightly, wearing a blue sundress with her hair put up in a bun. She had on a blue and black jacket that she had gotten for her birthday a year ago. It was really the only jacket she owned, as she refused to borrow any of Christine’s for some odd reason. 

“Hey!” Christine replied cheerfully, looking into Alana’s eyes for two seconds before her eyes started to drift to the rest of the house. More specifically, towards her dad’s room.

Alana saw her girlfriend’s eyes dart anxiously behind her and chuckled. “He’s not home,”

Christine let her shoulders drop and breathed out a sigh of relief at the statement before throwing herself on her girlfriend, wrapping her arms loosely around her neck and smiling as she leaned in for a kiss. “Oh, thank _god,”_ Alana grinned as the pair’s lips touched and they stumbled into her house for a few seconds. They took one or two steps before Alana planted her heels firmly on the floor, stopping them both from going any further.

They both pulled away slowly, staring into each other’s eyes and smiling wildly. Alana gave her one last quick kiss before asking; “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Christine replied, slowly moving out the door. She slid her hand down to Alana’s without letting go of her somehow and started walking to the car. No one spoke until they both slipped in the car with smiles on their faces. They had nothing to talk about, but awkward silence doesn’t exist when you’ve been dating someone for over four months. Or, at least, in Christine and Alana’s world it didn’t. Evan and Connor could tell a very different story.

So, it was just silence. Until Christine started overthinking. She looked over at Alana as she pulled out. “No offence to your dad,”

“No, no! I get it,” Alana said quickly, assuring her girlfriend that she’s done nothing wrong. In fact, she was kind of glad Christine asked if her father was there or not. Not that he hated Christine or anything, it wasn’t that at all. But he would have hated the kiss and probably grounded Alana for a lifetime. Or worse. Even touching was off-limits. Only because Christine was a girl. Her father was fine when it Jared gave her a hug at the mall or when a kid in 8th grade named Mark kissed her hand. “I mean, he knows you were picking me up,”

“Oh, yeah! No, I know,”

“It’s just,” Alana looked over at her girlfriend, wondering if she should say more about her father. Christine didn’t know a lot. She only really knew that he was homophobic, transphobic and very strict. She decided not to go into it as she looked back out of the window. There was more to say about him, but it was a date. And, to be completely honest, Alana didn’t know if she ever wanted to tell Christine about her father and situation. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Or, meant. It’s fine,”

It was quiet again. Again, not awkward silence really, but Christine saw Alana out of the corner of her eyes. She knew Alana had more to say but wasn’t going to push. If it was important, she would have told her already. She took a deep breath and smiled again. “How are your classes so far?”

Alana smiled as well. “A’s in everything,”

“Obviously,”

“I can’t wait for it to be over,” she laughed out, before going on about projects she had to finish in every class. Whereas Middleborough teachers started not caring about school around March, Alana’s school teachers seemed to assign everything they were supposed to assign during the school year in those last few months, leaving Alana with multiple huge projects and tests. 

But no matter how much she was assigned, Alana never complained about it. However, she didn’t seem ecstatic either, except for one time she had to make a model castle. She worked weeks on it, making it the biggest (and best in Christine’s opinion) castle in her class. It was no surprise that she got an A+ on it and it was put on display in the art case the school had in the main hall.

The conversation somehow left the topic of school in a matter of minutes and started to go in all different directions. One second it was the treatment of animals in zoos, next it was politics, next it was good places to stargaze, and it was just a mess, but the two enjoyed every second of it. It was kind of nice to just sit and talk without anyone else. Of course, they loved their friends, but this was pretty much the first time they’ve been alone together.

An hour of conversation passed before Christine pulled into the gravel parking lot and the two hopped out of the car. Alana eagerly dug in the back and pulled out the picnic basket, which was actually quite heavy. “Got it?” Christine asked, locking the car.

Alana nodded. “Lead the way,” She looked down a path she had never walked before and never heard of before, but according to Christine, there was an amazing view. She was a little worried that her dad didn’t know where she was. What if he went to check on her at Evan and Jeremy’s house and she wasn’t there? What if he called and heard other hikers in the background? What if he decided to track her phone and found out she was here? What if-

“Earth to Lana,” Christine was already on the trail, looking back at her girlfriend who was so lost in thought, she didn’t realize what was happening.

Alana blinked, shaking her head slightly. “Coming,”

___

It took 30 minutes and several anxious phone checks done by Alana every time she thought someone had texted her, worried that her dad had found out that she was not at her friend’s house and, in fact, some place that was at least an hour and 45 minutes away. It never was her dad, but that didn’t stop Alana from being on edge the entire hike. She tried to forget about it, she really did, but this was the first time she ever disobeyed him and went somewhere she shouldn’t.

He let her go to Zoe’s house, Evan and Jeremy’s house, the bowling ally that one time, and then the mall a few times, and he had said he trusted her friends enough that she could go out with them more, but he didn’t approve of Alana going out of the house with _just_ Christine, or _just_ anyone. This was pretty much the first time she lied about who she was with and where she was going because her father disapproved of it. What if he found out?

Christine saw that her girlfriend was getting considerably more anxious as the day went on, and it was only 2 o’clock. She had tried to distract her multiple times, and it would work for only a few minutes before Alana checked her phone again with a slight frown. Luckily, before Alana could check her phone for the 60th-ish time they got to the site.

It was better than Christine had described. A river that was previously unseen by the pair lead to a roaring waterfall, descending at least 40 feet into a large pool of water which was streaming in two different directions around a mass of land that the path leads to. The small island like piece of land had one giant, climbable tree on the edge near the water. Near the tree were two wooden picnic tables, with one being sort of old and worn out, although still usable and the other looking almost new. The waterfall itself was wide, with tall green trees surrounding it. Alana had heard the water on her way to the site, but the trees and wildlife must have muffled most of the sound.

She gasped in wonder but did not put her phone back in her pocket. Christine turned around to face her girlfriend with a huge smile on her face. She held up the picnic basket and stared making jazz hands with her free hand. “Surprise!”

Alana didn’t say anything, but instead let her facial expressions do much of the talking. She smiled brightly, taking in the scene. She slowly made her way to the edge of the landmass to face the waterfall.

_“I’ve really only seen waterfalls in pictures and videos,”_

Christine creeped up behind her and put her head on the other girl’s shoulder.

_“It sounds really stupid to look up videos of waterfalls, but when my dad and his girlfriends would argue, I listened to the sounds of waterfalls to help me get to sleep,” Alana said softly, as if someone else would hear, even though there was no one but Christine, Alana, and Zoe in the room. She chuckled. “Even with the explanation it sounds kind of stupid,”_

She kissed Alana’s chin lightly as they grabbed each other’s hands slowly.

_Christine shook her head lightly. “Nah, it’s not stupid, but why waterfalls?” Alana thought for a minute, but only shrugged in response. “Whatever, you know? Everyone has their own thing. I listen to classical music sometimes,”_

_Zoe looked back at the two and raised her eyebrows. “Nerds,” she said under her breath, but loud enough for them to hear. She turned back to the bookshelf and smiled, rolling her eyes._

“They look really pretty up close,” Alana whispered, chuckling lightly. Christine nodded to the best of her ability, then she slowly stood upright and tugged on her girlfriend’s hand, urging her to sit down. “This is perfect. This is...really what I need,”

Christine scoffed and smiled as the two took a seat on opposite sides of the table. “We’ve only been planning a date forever,”

“I’m glad you took it over,”

“I’m glad you like the place,” She said as she started to get stuff out of the picnic basket and put it on the table. “You know, I came here with my aunt and her girlfriend and boyfriend about a month and a half ago, and immediately thought of you,”

Alana beamed, looking around. She had remembered that Alana wanted to visit a waterfall. “Oh, Christine,”

Once she was done stetting everything up, she looked at Alana and did jazz hands for the second time in a day. “I bring you, a waterfall!”

Alana snorted and rolled her eyes at the remark but kept smiling. “You’re such a dork,”

“But I’m your dork,” Christine replied, leaning over the table the best she could to kiss Alana’s forehead. Everything was perfect for a moment. Just one moment. Alana forgot about her father.

“That was cheesy,”

“But I’m your kind of cheesy,”

“Oh my god, stop,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YPMTW discord:   
> https://discord.gg/MHnfZbk


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